Oh Deer...

 We got neighbors that think they're beautiful, and feed them . But mostly what we have is a public that's tired of the pests and a government that doesn't know how to solve a really pretty easy problem, if you can set a aside human emotion.  These urban Deer have habituated themselves not only to town but specific houses and green area where they feel protected. They eat everything, new budding tulips, perennials of all kinds and stomp down paths through wonderfully manicured landscaped yards . AND...I'm of the opinion that it's just a matter of time before us human types realize they carry the wasting disease or the Burcelosis type of thing that could be passed on to our kind and at the very least our pets . So what's to be done ? Here's a pic of the enemy, shot on yesterday mornings walk .

The woman who lets me live here has been calling me Carl lately, surely you remember Carl Spackler from the movie Caddy Shack. I haven't resorted to middle of the night black opps....yet...but I am armoring the perimeter and trying to Deer proof our back yard that has 42" chain link all around that that these hybrid urban Deer bound over like it was a steeping stone.  Now MPeasy and a few of our friends have questioned if I really could be successful.....mmmmm....it's junior varsity insulting if they think we can't out smart these cuties who are ruining the yard. Here's the plan.

So that's what Carl is doing. Now what's the City of Helena doing ? mmmmmm.....Well, the first thing you do is form a committee while forgetting a basic tenant of politics is that if you want to slow something down or even do nothing the best thing is to form a committee. Then you set an ' acceptable ' number of deer per neighborhood and then decide how many of the vermin to execute to get to that number. I'd say the urban deer 'acceptable ' number should be zero, 0 , none , notta...then when the g-men go to work you end up with 1/2  of your goal . Makes sense eh ? So, while we lounged around Mexico this winter the animal control people here set traps to cull 250 or so deer of which I think I saw they got  38. 

So, here's a suggestion from the new guy, don't ya just hate that ? But a lot can be learned from your more 'hands on ' neighbors to the north where they deal with this stuff routinely.  Back in the day Alaska had a Governor who we all loved who could make sense of problems and said famously " you can't just let nature run wild ". 

Dear Mayor Collins : Have you ever heard of Hagermeister Island ?  Let's assume you haven't . It's near the north shore of Bristol Bay in the Alaska Maritine National Wildlife Refuge. Years ago an entrepreneur decided that this uninhabited island would be the perfect place to raise reindeer and then harvest them for meat. Well it worked real good until the harvesting part came around. There's no port, there's a big ol dangerous ocean surrounding it and the closest butcher shop is only 2,000 miles away. So the g-men put out a proposal that anybody who wanted could go to Hagermeister Island and harvest the animals in hopes of achieving and ' acceptable ' number.  This place is a reserve and the herd was stomping down the habitat and destroying the bird rookeries and eating all the kelp on the beach and jeeez, what a mess. So, after many years of little or no harvest it was time to cull the herd....with the Air National Guard , now these guys know how to get it done. They come in with Helicopters and mini-guns and Walla, no problema. 

Just last year after watching the Mulchatna Caribou herd decline to the lowest levels ever it was decided that predation by Grizzly Bears was a huge factor . So, turn the problem over to the ADF+G and they arm a Super Cub with a good shot and an AR-15 and couple days later 100 of them are eliminated. nothing to it.

Does that guy look like he could stomp s*^# out of you ?  ( that's a real pic of one of many ) Well that's what the  cowboys who were coincidentally from Montana found out when they  were hired to round hundreds of those guys up on another Alaska Island with the same problem. Chirikof Island was over run with cattle that nobody could, for lack of a better term 'handle'. The government wanted them gone so a barge was brought in and the cowboys saddled up and....were back in the Anchorage Airport a few days later after being unsuccessful for many reasons one of which was that after years of neglect the animals are basically wild .

So Mr. Mayor, I know , enough anecdotel stories however interesting they may be. You wanna know why I tell these stories. Well it's simple .  When faced with way more challenging situations than urban deer these folks went to work . Don't ya suppose we could do at least a bit more to make our city just a little more people friendly and little less deer friendly ? After all.....you can't just let nature run wild .